Short Story - The Lamp That Wasn't For Me
I sat on the small balcony, gazing at the bright lights of the garden. The night breeze brushed against my face, but it wasn't cold, but rather a burning sensation—a kind of burning sensation that came from the heart, not the skin.
She sat next to me, smiling softly. Her eyes sparkled, as if a thousand tiny lights were burning there. For the past few months, I'd been seeing that light. The light they say appears when someone is in love.
“If tonight is the night we meet,” he said softly, looking up at the sky, “it will be very beautiful.”
I looked away. For some reason, those words made my breath hitch.
He didn't know who I really was.
She thought I was him —the man who had always been by her side, the man who had once belonged to her, the man who, for some reason, had become cold and stiff. Until I came along, filling that role.
Not because I wanted to.
Not because I was hungry for attention.
But because her family asked me to—to take care of her for a while. And I was a fool… for agreeing.
From then on, he started smiling again. He started telling stories again. He started calling me by terms of endearment that weren't mine.
“Come here, my love…” he whispered tonight, taking my hand. “Only for you do these lights burn. I want to spend my life in your shade.”
My heart trembled. But not with happiness—because I knew those lights he was talking about… weren't for me.
Sometimes I wonder, can that light burn? Because I feel it—its heat penetrating my skin, touching the deepest part of me. Even my once parched heart is now like a verdant garden. But still… the garden isn't mine.
“That lamp…” I finally said, trying to smile, “isn’t for me.”
He looked at me in surprise. “Why do you say that?”
I held my breath. If only I could tell the truth… if only I could tell you that I wasn't the one you loved. That I was just a stunt double. That every time you held my hand, you were actually holding someone else's shadow.
But my lips chose to remain silent.
Because if I said anything, I would extinguish all the lights that made her happy.
“Don’t stop this light,” he said again, smiling sincerely. “Just let it burn… I just want to spend my life by your side.”
I stared at her for a long moment.
Maybe one day, when all the lights went out, she'd realize who I really was. And maybe then, I'd truly lose her.
But tonight, I let myself sit beside him, in a light that wasn't my own, wishing time would slow down a little.
Because even though I know it's fake… still, it feels beautiful.
THE END
Depok, August 10, 2025
This short story was inspired by the song "JALTE DIYE" from the OST of the film PREM RATAN DHAN PAYO (2015)
